Letter for my little boy..

my dear baby hasif (u can't read this now.. but one day u will sayang),

today is merdeka day.. mama is not working.. public holiday la syg in malaysia. but ur papa is working.. he already has his independance leave earlier this month (for singapore la).. u r sleeping soundly by my side while i'm typing this.. u look so peaceful sleeping.. the weather is fine outside.. but i'm worried u might be cold.. a few times already i tried to switch off the fan.. but it becomes warm.. then i swith it on again.. only to find out that it might be getting to cold for u.. life's like that sayang.. we always worried if we are doing the right thing.. esp if it involves ur love one..

i'm worried sick about u the other day.. to be exact last wednesday, 29 august.. u were fine when i send u off to the caregiver in the morning.. but when i picked u up after office, u body temperature was high..! u felt so warm against my skin.. apparently ur body temp rise during the day.. n u had no appetite for milk.. for one whole day while i was away, u drank only one bottle..! papa normally divided the EBM into 3 bottles.. each contained 4-5oz of milk.. for ur day's supply while i was away.. but that day, u managed to consume only 1 bottle.. no appetite eh sayang.. how worried i was at tht time.. kesian dia demam.. i brought u back.. wipe u with wet towel to reduce the heat.. after papa reached home, we tried to give u ur ubat demam but u refused.. to make matters worse, no electricity tht nite..! of all the days eh.. u slept well that nite, despite ur body heat.. such a good boy u were.. don't want to trouble mama n papa eh sayang.. we let u use the sleeveless t shirt tht nite.. the one tht looks just like ur kain buaian ehehe.. u slept in the cradle instead of the bed cos we were worried tht u might be bitten by those mosquitos.. sad to say, no electricity means no ubat nyamuk.. around 1 am u woke up.. apparently hungry.. by tht time, still no electricy.. n the emergency lite pun dah mati.. slightly dark.. u know hasif, at this age u are not comfortable sleeping in the dark.. i tried to nurse u but u cried.. papa had to go down n bring the torch lite to lighten up the room.. finally around 2am, TNB managed to resolve the power problem.. u were able to sleep back after that, but still no appetite.. u refused when i tried to nurse u.. a couple of times after tht, i tried to wake u up n nurse u but u still refused..

6:40 am we woke u up.. ur body temp is better now.. thanks Allah.. still a bit warm but u looked normal now.. u poo'ed before we went out (ehehe sayang, u have this lovely habit of poo'ing every morning when u just wake up..).. when i picked u up after offuce yesterday, ur body temp was normal already.. i'm soooooo glad.. but u poo'ed twice at the babysitter's house yesterday.. now i started to worry though u stool looked normal.. last nite i woke u up every 3.5 hours to nurse u.. kena minum byk2 kasik cpt sihat ok..

sweet little boy, u made us worried when u were sick.. get well ok.. n always stay healthy.. we love u to the bits..