Letter for my little boy..

my dear baby hasif (u can't read this now.. but one day u will sayang),

today is merdeka day.. mama is not working.. public holiday la syg in malaysia. but ur papa is working.. he already has his independance leave earlier this month (for singapore la).. u r sleeping soundly by my side while i'm typing this.. u look so peaceful sleeping.. the weather is fine outside.. but i'm worried u might be cold.. a few times already i tried to switch off the fan.. but it becomes warm.. then i swith it on again.. only to find out that it might be getting to cold for u.. life's like that sayang.. we always worried if we are doing the right thing.. esp if it involves ur love one..

i'm worried sick about u the other day.. to be exact last wednesday, 29 august.. u were fine when i send u off to the caregiver in the morning.. but when i picked u up after office, u body temperature was high..! u felt so warm against my skin.. apparently ur body temp rise during the day.. n u had no appetite for milk.. for one whole day while i was away, u drank only one bottle..! papa normally divided the EBM into 3 bottles.. each contained 4-5oz of milk.. for ur day's supply while i was away.. but that day, u managed to consume only 1 bottle.. no appetite eh sayang.. how worried i was at tht time.. kesian dia demam.. i brought u back.. wipe u with wet towel to reduce the heat.. after papa reached home, we tried to give u ur ubat demam but u refused.. to make matters worse, no electricity tht nite..! of all the days eh.. u slept well that nite, despite ur body heat.. such a good boy u were.. don't want to trouble mama n papa eh sayang.. we let u use the sleeveless t shirt tht nite.. the one tht looks just like ur kain buaian ehehe.. u slept in the cradle instead of the bed cos we were worried tht u might be bitten by those mosquitos.. sad to say, no electricity means no ubat nyamuk.. around 1 am u woke up.. apparently hungry.. by tht time, still no electricy.. n the emergency lite pun dah mati.. slightly dark.. u know hasif, at this age u are not comfortable sleeping in the dark.. i tried to nurse u but u cried.. papa had to go down n bring the torch lite to lighten up the room.. finally around 2am, TNB managed to resolve the power problem.. u were able to sleep back after that, but still no appetite.. u refused when i tried to nurse u.. a couple of times after tht, i tried to wake u up n nurse u but u still refused..

6:40 am we woke u up.. ur body temp is better now.. thanks Allah.. still a bit warm but u looked normal now.. u poo'ed before we went out (ehehe sayang, u have this lovely habit of poo'ing every morning when u just wake up..).. when i picked u up after offuce yesterday, ur body temp was normal already.. i'm soooooo glad.. but u poo'ed twice at the babysitter's house yesterday.. now i started to worry though u stool looked normal.. last nite i woke u up every 3.5 hours to nurse u.. kena minum byk2 kasik cpt sihat ok..

sweet little boy, u made us worried when u were sick.. get well ok.. n always stay healthy.. we love u to the bits..

At last, my video on the net

look...... me and my flying fish.......

me....playing with my playgym...

Little hands that hold the world eheheh..

friday morning was a joy.. papa hasif passed a rattle to our much-loved baby n we were amazed to see that hasif can now held the rattle quite steadily.. it’s this little rattle with a small, round handle that we bought in Anakku some times ago.. I excitedly report this to our babysitter when I sent hasif over.. apparently hasif had this little skill for quite some time already, according to the babysitter.. yeah, we leave some of hasif’s toys in their house.. the small rattle, play gym etc.. but at home, we normally let hasif play with his book or blocks or other rattle, normally the fisher price’s rattle.. his tiny fingers cannot grab the handle of this rattle as it is quite big.. only that morning papa gave him the anakku rattle which fits into his hand perfectly.. mm talking bout the right size toys for ur kids.. we really should think about it.. we notice this milestone slightly late as we did not hand him the right size toys for him.. like last time.. hasif were still using the mitten until 3 months’ old.. we finally decided to remove the mitten for good since he kept on sucking on his mitten.. smpi basah lencun mittens tu.. my sis said its’ nicer to watch baby sucks their fingers or even their fist rather than their mitten, so remove those mitten.. apparently, after we remove his mitten we see that his hands become more active.. keeps on batting his hanging toys in the play gym.. try to grab those toys and all.. he can do a lot of things with his hand since it’s free from those mitten.. I’m slightly regret at that time actually.. cause I felt like if remove the mitten earlier, he can start to play his hands earlier.. but now I guess it’s ok la.. better late than never I guess..

My New Books..

we had been out jalan2 today.. mama n papa bought me some new books.. yeaaaa...

the counting book and monkey see monkey zoo are very interactive, with fun-to-fill textures.. there are just enough surprises to keep my interest..

this is the monkey see monkey zoo book.. those animals in this book are amazingly cute n the baby kangaroo can jump out of his mom's sack.. so cool.. ehehe..

this one is from the counting book.. i can actually try to buckle the shoe, close the door etc..

we also bought this one.. in case mama n papa run out of ideas of the activities that we can do together, at least this book come in handy..

and finally, i also bought this one.. when i pull the seashell, the flipper will flips and the fish will also vibrate.. i really love this one.. hope ma will hang this on my craddle.. at least i can keep myself entertain before off to dreamland..

best.. i really love those books.. can't wait to read (actually suck) them tomorrow..

The Greatest Advice

i found this some times ago.. back then i thought this is really a good advice.. n i want to pass it down to my kids.. well now that we have hasif.. i really want hasif to read this one day.. n other kids as well..

Don't date because you are desperate.

Don't marry because you are miserable.

Don't have kids because you think your genes are superior.

Don't philander because you think you are irresistible.

Don't associate with people you can't trust.

Don't cheat. Don't lie. Don't pretend.

Don't dictate because you are smarter.

Don't demand because you are stronger.

Don't sleep around because you think you are old enough and know better.

Don't hurt your kids because loving them is harder.

Don't sell yourself, your family, or your ideals.

Don't stagnate.!

Don't regress.

Don't live in the past. Time can't bring anything or anyone back.

Don't put your life on hold for possibly Mr/Mrs Right.

Don't throw your life away on absolutely Mr Wrong because your biological clock is ticking.

Learn a new skill.

Find a new friend.

Start a new career.

Sometimes, there is no race to be won.

Only a price to be paid for some of life's more hasty decisions.

To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the homeless.

To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy.

To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy. (no kiddo.. get a kitten instead..)

Don't bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons.

To make yourself happy, pursue your passions and be the best of what you can be.

Simplify your life.

Take away the clutter.

Get rid of destructive elements: abusive friends, nasty habits, and dangerous liaisons. Don't abandon your responsibilities but don't overdose on duty.

Don't live life recklessly without thought and feeling for your family.

Be true to yourself.

Don't commit when you are not ready.

Don't keep others waiting needlessly.

Go on that trip. Don't postpone it.

Say those words. Don't let the moment pass.

Do what you have to, even at society's scorn.

Write poetry.

Love Deeply.

Walk barefoot.

Dance with wild abandon.

Cry at the movies.

Take care of yourself. Don't wait for someone to take care of you.

You light up your life. You drive yourself to your destination. No one completes you - except YOU.

It is true that life does not get easier with age.

It only gets more challenging.

Don't be afraid.

Don't lose your capacity to love.

Pursue your passions.

Live your dreams.

Don't lose faith in your God.

Don't grow old. Just grow YOU!

When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you'll never get back. Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give someone is your time. Relationships take time and effort, and the best way to spell love is T-I-M-E because the essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.

--Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life

Our Hunny Bunny Sugar Pie

me.. cute little boy in the sink.. ehehe..

abg adha.. cute not-so-little boy in the basin.. can't wait for his papa to fill his swimming pool with water.. thus opt to submerge himself in the basin first..

adha, haziq n nadrah.. my cute cousins.. all hell will break lose when they gather.. can't wait to join them scream and shout and play..

Papa Hasif

papa was on the newspaper yesterday.. infact ada 2 kpg gamba papa skali.. ehehehe.. the event..? ada la.. let it be our trade secret.. ehehe.. ;)

PD Weekend Gateway

Date: 3-5 August 2007

Venue: PD

we had been to PD last weekend.. we always made it a point to gather at least once a year.. normally to a place close to our hometown since my dad's health is not so good lately.. so the place closest to our hometown is PD.. kira ok la kan.. at least we can all be together.. the main objective for such gathering is to tighten our bonding.. over the year it might become slightly loose la since everybody is far apart from each other.. i will try to instill this kind of thinking to hasif and our other future children also.. like the Chinese said.. the family that eats together stays together.. so that's what we actually did.. eat and eat and eat together the whole time.. adoii.. too much eating had cause me to have diarrhea on saturday.. yes i know.. cos i ate too much.. no room anymore for those foods in my tummy.. anyway my eldest brother cannot join us as his son, haziq just had an operation about two months ago.. so since the doctor had advised him to steer clear of water for 6 months.. so x bleh join la.. incase the water might get into his ears.. boys that age.. what can u expect.. u cannot ask him to sit still by the beach or the pool, and just watch others to play in the water..

we reached PD late friday night.. heavy traffic in PG hiway n slow service of BK in Pe*r***s near the hiway can be blame for our delay.. baby hasif did not sleep so well on our first night.. we realised that night that he did not like to sleep in the dark.. this hypotesis was made since he slept soundly the night after that, when we switched our sleeping place.. to a much brighter area.. the first nite, he cried twice n waking up everybody..it's not that dark actually since we left the door ajar so as the faint light from the bathroom can enter our room.. but it seems like it's not sufficient for baby hasif.. the first time he screamed and cried, it is around 3 am.. i quickly fed him n the place became silent again.. then dia tersedak as the milk flow was too fast.. n he cried again.. n suddenly i heard the following..

Mak Ngah aka Mama Adha: dia tersedak la..

Adha: Mak Lang pekak ke..?

eheheh so funny.. btw adha called me mak lang n he's 3 years old.. maybe he rarely use the word 'tersedak' .. that's why he misunderstood the word tersedak with pekak.. actually adha can speaks with full vocabulary at the age of 1+ year (kak ina.. correct me if i'm wrong).. mm i can't wait for baby hasif's first word.. well i still remember, before, adha had problem to differentiate the work 'pedas' with 'panas'.. i still remember vividly,at that time my sister was frying the keropok sayur.. adha was very excited to eat.. but as soon as he touched the keropok.. he screamed.. mama pedas.. pedas.. eheheheh what he actually meant was the keropok is panas.. at that time we were at my sister's house, can't remember exactly when.. but at that time i'm still single with to-die-for figure.. ehehe.. but that was before.. skarang mama hasif had changed to tengok-only-die-already figure..eheheheh.. hope it's not too late la to regain back what i had lost ;) iskkkkk ape yg i merepek ni.. kan nak cerita psl PD.. aiseh..

we had bbq for lunch and dinner.. best sgt.. we had sate ayam n daging.. n we marinated some ikan cencaru.. ikan kembung.. ikan pari.. prawns.. squid.. chicken wings.. sedap tul.. bakar tepi laut.. mkn tepi laut.. we really had a good time.. hasif also had a good time sleeping there.. papa hasif set up his buaian in our spot for bbq.. by the beach.. he slept since 10 am straight until almost 5pm, if i'm not mistaken.. woke up intermittently for some input (his milk) and also some 'output'.. eheheh..but since our unit is very near to the beach, me and papa hasif just went back to clean him up.. we didn't try to put him in the water.. neither the sea nor the pool.. we felt like he's still very small.. he barely reached 4 months old.. so i guess it's not the time yet la.. but he did enjoyed himself immensely.. by sleeping.. eheheh.. angin kuat sgt tepi laut.. at one time we felt like it's storm already.. like the makcik who rent us the kerusi malas said, it's raining everyday in PD.. it must be our lucky day because it didn't rain when we were there.. at that night (saturday night), we continued our bbq, since our food is too much.. n we were too tired to go out.. though initially me n papa hasif had planned to bring baby hasif to the pasar malam in PD (sebena nye mama yg sibuk nak pegi)..

papa tgh siap kan baby hasif before pegi tido kat tepi pantai..

the junk foods that we had for picnic.. these must be enough to feed the whole class during jamuan kelas sekolah rendah.. eheheh..

marinated squids n prawns n cencaru n ikan kembung n ikan pari.. n also my mom's very special chicken wings..

yummy... chicken wings with bbq sauce and chilli sauce..

the wind is so strong..

but yet baby hasif slept so peacefully..

my BIL, abg p.. as always.. he is our chef diva for every occasions tht involves bakar2.. bbq or bakar sate.. bakar ikan.. asalkan ada api..

oooooooooooooo suruh hasif tdo kt tepi pantai.. papa g mandi seronok2 ngan abg adha, pak teh ngan pak su eh.. tak aciiiii..

3 org kanak2 riang tgh main lori pasir..

x do kojo.. membuli budak kecik ehhh..

my sis n my mom.. btw my sis will deliver next month.. hope everything turns out well..

papa hasif sibuk shoot ape tu.. with atuk on his right..

mama 'swimming' kat tepi je psl air dlm sgt.. :D

papa hasif fall asleep.. penat sgt agak nye lps main pasir.. eheheh..

Yummy.. Prepared with Love..

this is the mee hailam that papa hasif had prepared for me the other day.. taste sooo good.. normally mee hailam is dark colour.. but this one is the healthier version of mee hailam.. thus less soy sauce.. papa hasif also used spagetti instead of mee kuning since this is the only thing that's available.. eheh.. rugi hasif kecik lagi x bleh nak rasa..

Current Progress

previously a passive observer of his surrounding, this little boy had move up a notch.. now he is a very active participant for his surrounding..always mumbling incoherently.. he will smile and laugh and talk when he hears u talking.. sometimes this little boy also can be very perasan cos he even smile and talk when u are singing.. as if u are talking to him..eheheh..

changing his cloth n wet diapers also had becomes quite a task since this boy now dah semakin lasak.. whenever we remove his diaper, he will curl up his leg, like he's in fetal position.. maybe because his bare bottom rasa sejuk kena angin.. so makin susah la nak pasang kan new diaper..

feedings now also can be challenging since hasif will stop n turned away from u at each and every new noise that distracts him... he's now becomes increasingly aware of, and interested in the world around him.. so basically u have to be very very patient in order to feed him.. as for mama hasif.. one of my best moment is to hold my sleeping baby in my arms.. yg dah kekenyangan after i breastfeed him..

this is one of my favourite photo of hasif yg tersandar kekenyangan selepas menyusu.. this photo was taken when he's one month old..

the strength and coordination of his hands are also improving.. he will grab everything within his reach.. be it ur hair.. ur tudung.. ur clothing.. his own kain buaian.. anything basically.. our baby loves to reach out and touch anyone and anything he can grasp onto.. and when u hold (dukung) him in such a way that ur right hand is supporting his bottom n ur left hand is on his back for support, u will notice that he will cling tightly to u n suddenly u will feel like ur neck or ur collar is already wet.. dah basah dia hisap.. adoiii.. he loves to put everything that he picks up straight to his mouth.. now his capabilies are limited.. thus x banyak sgt yg bleh di collect utk bawak masuk mulut.. skit hari lagi.. mmmm God only knows.. he loves sucking his fingers also.. one finger.. or sometimes smpi 3 jari dia sumbat kan dlm mulut.. lps tu keliling mulut dia sememeh with his own saliva.. how adorable.. (eheheh of course la adorable since he's our own flesh and blood).. we also love watching him play with his hands.. the way he clasp his hands ever so tighly..

baby hasif tgh khusyuk menghisap jari.. kalau try nak tarik jari tu mesti dia marah..

by now Hasif had been physically capable of making it through the night without feeding.. he now sleeps for a long stretch of time, up to 6 or 7 hours before he becomes restless that indicates he's already hungry.. or sometimes i will wake up to the sound of him sucking up his finger or simply his lips.. kesian hasif lapar.. we make it a point that hasif has a predictable, positive bedtime routine, which entails putting him to bed at the same time every night.. he normally sleeps at 7pm everyday until the following morning.. of course this routine will be disrupted if we are going out.. so as much as possible we try to stay at home this time around so as not to disturb his beauty sleep..

yesterday papa hasif was not working.. independence day for singapore..everytime that he's not working, papa is the one who will take care of baby hasif.. so no need to send hasif over to the babysitter.. after i came back from office yesterday, we went to the lake.. the lake garden is actually very near to our home.. maybe 5 mins walking.. but we drive la of course, takut nanti tak larat pulak nak jalan balik rumah.. eheheh.. hasif loves being outdoor.. wind-blown trees or leaves always fascinates him.. these i had notice for quite some time already.. tapi mama malu skit la jln2 kt tasik smlm as everybody's in their sport's gear but i come complete with baju kurung and hand bag.. ehmmmmm... slightly out of place la.. but since i jenis tak kisah.. so no big deal la for me..

HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS LITTLE BOY.. sometimes i just wished that time will pass slowly as i want ot savour every moments that i have with my darling baby.. and to share him with my darling husband.. it's priceless.. and i really thankful to Allah for letting our path crossed.. he is so right for me (tak tau la kan org nak kata apa.. but for me.. my other half really completes me)..